Melanie "Mel B" Brown changes her difficult life under the surface of her beauty and success in an open book – literally – starting with her violent relationship and the impact it had on her relationship with her late father, Martin.
To promote the launch of her new memoir, Mercilessly honest, the Spice Girls alum, 43, shared in an interview with the British talk show Loose women On Monday, her father said that she had to step out of her violent 10-year marriage with film producer Stephen Belafonte. She discussed the issue of raising awareness about the paralyzing nature of domestic violence – emotionally and physically.
Receive push notifications with news, features and more.
You will receive the latest updates on this topic in your browser notifications.
RELATED: Spice Girls & # 39; Just Presumed & # 39; Victoria Beckham would not take part in Tour: She Was Never Actually Asked & # 39;
"I am one of the lucky ones," the America & # 39; s Got Talent Judge started. "It took the death of my father to give me the strength to go," Okay, my father is dead now, and now I must have the strength to continue in a positive way and stop living in this lie and pretending nothing happens and it is all a façade. "I just wanted it to stop, I wanted a night where I could sleep peacefully and safely."
She then explained part of the emotional torment behind her situation: "When you have given your power to someone and they just misuse it – and your trust, your honesty and respect – it takes so long to regain that trust . "
When one of the hosts specifically asked her about Belafonte's threats that he would release sex-bands from her, Brown admitted that she worried that her father would find out before he died.
"He already suffered a very bad illness … my father would die," said the pop star about her father, who fought against multiple myeloma. "In the few remaining years that he had, I could not do that to him-these ties, the knowledge of what happened in my marriage … in my mind, it would speed up his illness, and I could not do that to him. . "
RELATED: Viva Forever! The Spice Girls (Minus Posh) announce 2019 U.K. Stadium Tour
Brown then explained that she eventually decided to entrust him with the future of her marriage, and after that she could not have been happier.
"I whispered in his ear …" When you blow your last breath, I'm going to part from a monster, "and then he looked at me and took his last breath," she recalled. "I knew I had to land and work straight away[on[at[op[atAmerica & # 39; s Got Talent]from the plane … When I landed, I was so happy. "
Then her fellow judge Simon Cowell asked her about her elation, and she said that she responded: "My father is in a better place without any pain, and I know where I come home, because I'm going to divorce this man, and that's it. "I set the wheels in motion, I got a restraining order, it will be two years in December that I have not been with that person."
RELATED VIDEO: Mel B opens the relationship with Eddie Murphy: & # 39; It was a bit too much & # 39;
Brown then added despite Belafonte's denial of accusations of abuse, her book is not just a "he-said-she-said." She explained, "I have testimonies from friends and family who witnessed his behavior."
According to The daily mail, Scary Spice also entered the incident Mercilessly honest.
"I told him that I was leaving Stephen and I felt his hand tugging slightly in mine," she wrote, according to the exhaust. "I leaned over him." Daddy, you cut your hair and shave, you got a new shirt, we prayed, we're done, you're done, but I can not start your divorce until you dies. & # 39; … His eyes opened for a moment, we looked at each other and there was a moment when I felt that all the pain that had once disappeared between us had disappeared, then he took one last, very slow breath. . & # 39; He is gone, & i announced in the room. & # 39;
In the interview with Loose women, Mel B also went on to discuss her recovery process of the abuse and why she decided to become public with her story.
"Basically I really love myself, and I think I'm the most important now," she mused. "I had no choice because there were so many salacious headlines about me … For two years I was very, very quiet … [But] If I can help someone in a situation similar to what I've been in, the job is done right. & # 39;
Also in her book Mel B once again revealed a dark moment in her life – when she tried to die by suicide. In a fragment published by U.K. outlet The sun, she said she had swallowed 200 aspirin pills, which she had stored for years, on December 11, 2014, after returning to dinner with her husband at the time.
RELATED: The Spice Girls Emma Bunton reveals She Once Threw Up in the mouth of Mel B after a night out
The X Factor Judge wrote that although her life looked glamorous at the time, she & # 39; emotionally battered & # 39; felt.
"I felt ugly and disgusted by the man who promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager Stephen," she explained. "A man who after 10 years of marriage now had a library of adult movies that – as we both knew – could ruin my career and destroy my family."
After swallowing the last pill, Brown knew that she had made a mistake, according to The sun extract.
"Suicide was not the answer, I had to count my life, I had to go to a hospital," she wrote, according to The sunadding that although her memories from this time are blurred, she remembers to "throw" herself at a stuck door, giving her visible bruises on her face and shoulder. She remembered that those traces were visible during one x Factor show she was present three days later.
RELATED: Mel B agrees to test random drugs and alcohol in the fight against ex-husband
After collapsing and getting in and out of consciousness, Brown claimed in the fragment that she was being transported to the hospital, where she lost consciousness again. When she woke up, her eldest daughter Phoenix Chi – now 19, whose father is Brown, was the first ex-husband Jimmy Gulzar – "furious … Of all the memories of all those hours it is the one who is still at the bottom "Brown said, call it" the saddest moment of my life ".
Brown is also the mother of 11-year-old Angel Iris Murphy Brown with ex Eddie Murphy and Madison Brown Belafonte, 7, with Belafonte.
The couple, who married in June 2007 in Las Vegas, officially finalized their divorce in December 2017. The legal divorce came nine months after the initially filed Brown in March that year.