"As a mother you always do everything wrong" – News Life: Society

How did you imagine your life with children if you had no children, Mrs. Girod?
Ellen Girod: I always wanted to remain childless and unmarried.

Now you have a husband and two daughters. When did your idea change?
Ellen Girod: The moment that I met Bas. Cheesy, I know. I really only thought about children six months before I became pregnant. It was always clear to me that I wanted to continue working later, preferably the same as my husband – 80/80. I read & # 39; Lean In & # 39; from Facebook boss Sheryl Sandberg, where she writes that you first have to search for the right man. And I was lucky. When I was pregnant, we prepared everything for it. The kindergarten was organized, the grandmothers were in the starting blocks. Everything was ready!

And yet it turned out differently.
Ellen Girod: Yes. When I held my daughter for the first time, I realized: I do not want to take her to the nursery after four months. It was a good decision. We then went over the books, I quit my job, started my blog and went to college with the three-week-old daughter. I wanted to find a way to be with my daughter and continue my work.

How did you introduce your family before you had children, Mr Girod?
Bastien Girod: I have never made fixed ideas, have everything on me.

That is a very masculine answer.
Bastien Girod: What was always clear to me: I do not want to see my children only in the evening and on weekends.

That should be difficult during the sessions.
Bastien Girod: Yes, sessions are not very daddy or mother-friendly. I was there for one with the SVP: she wanted to abolish Friday as a session day.
Ellen Girod: Flexibility is crucial. I work at home, that helps a lot. And we have fixed rules. If Bas has appointments on a Saturday or in the evening during the week, the time is set with the children. If he goes to the deputies meeting of the Greens on Saturday, I can work on my blog on Sunday. We have a Google Calendar, so these blocks are easy to move.

The ideal image for the start of a family was 80/80, but now your model seems more classic. They are both serial fans. Would the model of the Danish prime minister of "Borgen" – five years of career, five years time – make it an option for you?
Bastien Girod: In the series, the model works only partially – family life breaks. They are not numbers that are important, 80/80 or 100/0, it is important that it works for the family and everyone is happy – including the children.
Ellen Girod: I find it difficult when only female CEOs or leading female politicians are shown as an example with their family model. There are many average mothers like me who take care of their families. At the same time, it makes it difficult to come forward as a housewife in the executive society.
Bastien Girod: It is very typical that you always talk only about the women. As a man you make a career. Super. Or you take care of the children as a house man. Great too.
Ellen Girod: As a mother you always do everything wrong. When I did not bring my first daughter to the manger after four months, I got a smaller shiver in my surroundings.

What also has to do with your urban environment, does not it?
Ellen Girod: No. A friend of mine let her child take care of only four months, went full of work and was then the mother of a raven. Instead of putting pressure on mothers, parents should be encouraged to choose the family model that they seem worthy of living.

What can men do to prevent this?
Bastien Girod: You have to get rid of the stereotypes. And work towards the fact that everyone can choose his own ideal of his family. This freedom of choice is still limited today.

«Today we are happy when we can watch Netflix undisturbed for an hour»: The Girods. Photo: Fabienne Andreoli

Even if the father hands in a paper day – the bulk of the work remains with you, Mrs Girod?
Ellen Girod: We have organized reasonably well. The day is not over yet when Bastien arrives at 17 or 18 o'clock.
Bastien Girod: If we have noise, then already in this area. Like most pairs. But we have optimized a lot here. I went to the gym for two hours. Today I have an app with exercises that I can do on the balcony. And in the breaks I clean up the kitchen and the living room.
Ellen Girod: I thought that was very special at the beginning. ,,
Bastien Girod: But now you are so happy!

How do you relax as a young couple with young children?
Ellen Girod: Not at all.
Bastien Girod: At some point they will sleep.
Ellen Girod: We used to go to the film festival in Locarno, a film, good food on the Piazza Grande. Today we are happy that we can watch Netflix undisturbed for an hour. That is also romantic. The children are 3 and 1, and of course that is tiring. But that is over.

They said that when a child comes, the focus is on the mother. Do you not contribute with your Mamablog?
Bastien Girod: Why? If I did, it would be a papablog.
Ellen Girod: There is still the idea of ​​the "Papa Poule in the fire" section. He is the one who cooks more with us. But that had to wait until now for reasons of time.

"I am a happy guy and I like it, you have to occupy the photo positively."Ellen Girod

So you have to negotiate about that.
Ellen Girod: He also wrote an article on my blog. ,,
Bastien Girod: ,,, which even appeared in the NZZ.

What was it about?
Bastien Girod: To stereotypes in children's books. For example in the "Schellen-Ursli". At the baptism of the older daughter, the pastor criticized capitalist thinking in the "Schellen-Ursli". He goes to the alp because he has a too small bell and at the end he has the biggest bell and he is the seven. But who has the smallest bell? But now I am wandering off, in the article I criticized the division of roles between Flurina and Ursli. Flurina takes care of the grouse and Ursli gets the big bell.

Speaking of stereotype: you call your blog & # 39; Chez Mama Poule & # 39 ;, you call yourself a Gluggere. Why?
Ellen Girod: The name was then an answer to my environment. Because I quit my job after four months, he said: You are a lucky guy. And I thought that was pejorative. It took me time to say with confidence: yes, I am a lucky guy and I like it. I think you can definitely occupy this image positively. I try to encourage women, to say, being a mother is beautiful, it is not a trap, it is not only stupid, even though it is challenging and difficult. A working mother who cares for her children can be just as lucky. Moreover, a father can be a Gluggere.

How does that matter?
Bastien Girod: I like to be with the children. And when Ellen works on the blog, I am often alone with those two. Also on weekends, and I enjoy it. With our two daughters it is also easy to be Daddy Poule. Often they want me to wear both at the same time. Then I almost walk around like a Gluggere. I said somewhere, it was relaxed with the children, you did not find that funny. What I meant: it is balancing, I am much more balanced at work. Actually also more productive when I work.
Ellen Girod: He really worked a lot when we met. During the holiday he opened his laptop and I wondered what that meant. The children have done him well.

Public breastfeeding as an emancipatory act: Hippies 1969 in San Francisco. Photo: Getty

What did you bother about the term & # 39; relax & # 39;
Ellen Girod: It sounded like he was reading a book on his couch on his daddy day and doing more quietly. And being with children is everything, but not relaxing. One is ready in the evening.

Were you afraid that he did not really care for her?
Ellen Girod: No, but he drew a picture as if he did nothing, and then everything would stay with me. Fun, papi day, a bit to the zoo and more than that. I do not think children are relaxing, that's the wrong word, balance, I think that's better.

Would it be an option to work less, Mr Girod?
Bastien Girod: Even less? (laughs) Not at this moment, no, not necessarily. I like to work. I need that.

What should socio-political change in the coming years?
Ellen Girod: I recently read a quote from Remo Largo, which I find very appropriate: "Switzerland is not child-friendly." There have to be many socio-political changes that make it fun to have children.

What exactly?
Ellen Girod: The problems must also be discussed from the point of view of the children, not only from the point of view of the economy, working mothers and fathers. In concrete terms, there are two things: on the one hand this requires exciting part-time jobs for both women and men, not that you can only start professionally with 120 percent. The other is parental leave, real parental leave and not one or a few Fridays after birth.
Bastien Girod: It is always discussed what is better for the economy in the short term. Instead of discussing what is best for the child and therefore for the future. In the political discussion, the well-being of the children is astonishingly absent. This is also reflected in the fact that Switzerland is one of the few countries where it can beat its own children.

How satisfied are you with the part of the family that you have in your own hands? And how satisfied are you with your existing structures?
Bastien Girod: Zurich is one of the happiest places where you can live with children as a young family. That is why the red-green policy in Zurich is so successful because it has created a high quality of life for families.
Ellen Girod: I would say that it is a huge privilege to really do what I want to do. I found my calling, the blog is my passion. I can work independently of time and place and be with my children at the same time, I do not have to apologize to the boss if they are sick. I am very satisfied.
Bastien Girod: In the beginning we had to find our new role, create new structures that are good for us. Now that has been arranged, we have just spent a wonderful holiday in the mountains. ,,
Ellen Girod: ,,, the first vacations in which we do not debate. (laughs) That was always the case with us during the holidays. These expectations that you can do everything – and the disappointment that you can do almost nothing for yourself.


Created: 19.08.2018, 20:17 clock

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